Bar Exam Bard: Good Luck!

It’s been a blast being the bar exam bard
and frankly I know you’ve studied hard!

I consider it a break from my billable time
to engage in joyous and humorous time!

I’m actually Sarah Pomeroy’s maw
and most of the time I practice law!

I’ve had some fun trying to give you some cheer
during what is part of a very stressful year!

This rite of passage is a pain in the a- –
But honestly I know you all will pass!

When it’s over you can think,
it is time to watch a movie, get dinner and a drink!
I must admit as I pray to God above
it’s hard to watch this process with people you love.

Maybe I’ll see you in the court house or CBA
I hope you’ll stop me and tell me about your day!

I’ve said this often over peanut butter and jelly!
no one cares for your success like Professor Katherine Kelly.

The practice of law is also hard,
and quite frankly there isn’t a law practice bard.

Good luck I’m praying for your success!
Like your mom says “just do your best!”

Take a deep breath, bite your lip and repeat til you win, “no bar examiner is going to tell me I can’t get in!!!!

 

Rosemary Ebner Pomeroy
ebnerpom@gmail.com

Bar Exam Bard: The Loo

If you leave the exam
and go to the loo!
you can’t come back in
what will you do?

I guess the bar exam
ain’t for old women and men
because if you leave for the potty
you can’t come in again.

I thought of a woman in my class
who graduated at 65!
with today’s bar exam security
she wouldn’t survive.

So much for the senior citizen gent
who on his J.D. his pension spent!
His bladder problems would kill his dream
with today’s security bar exam scheme!

Yes the bar exam is truly for the young at heart
and not for old guys who dribble and fart!
it’s not for women who wear their Poise
it’s for smart young girls and young intelligent boys!

You take a break to go one or two
you might as well flush yourself down the loo
so much for the Themis or Kaplan fee
stay in the crapper and cry poor me.

Again, some things are better left for the young
so as you spew law from your youthful tongue.
Don’t go out to use the loo.
Wear Depends or hold it…that’s what you must do!

Bar Exam Bard: Bar Exam Fear

On July 28
check bar fear at the door.
You know this crap
and a whole lot more!!

You’ll look at the first essay.
Okay, you’re gonna dig deep.
You need to grit your teeth, bite your lip
3 more days til you sleep

Dig deed into your
bar review soul!
pull out whatever you’ve got.
You’ll be pleasantly surprised when you get to the test…
yep, you actually know a lot!!!

Your bar flash cards and study lists
you’ll see them as you write.
Resolve:  that no matter what – you won’t
go down without an incredible fight.

Each question and essay is just a peak.
Passing by the lowest possible score
is the plan of attack to seek!!

If the first question throws you off course
don’t curse the bar review class—
with buyer’s remorse!

Think of lawyers you know who
have already passed.
some who are smart and
some with no class.

If they found a way to pass the test
YOU know you can do
your personal best.

So take your bar exam fear and
leave it in the car or bus
In a few years you’ll be one of us.

You’re smart
you’re ready
you’re going to stay steady

You have parents,  or a spouse and friends
rooting for you!!!
They know your courage and
what you can do!!

You don’t need to pass with a
Big A +
just do enough to be
like the rest of us!

So take the anxiety and
check it at the door!!
Because you are winning
the BAR EXAM WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(REP)

Bar Exam Bard: Male Bar Blues

When I get done with the bar
I won’t need to go far.

I’m getting some beer
and I’m out of here.

I’m taking my bar bri books out to the road
I’m done with my heavy studying load.

I’m gonna watch baseball and Mike and Mike
I’m going to golf, run, gamble and bike.

I may get some courvoisier and go out with a lass
because I’m done with the bar and bar review class.

I’m going to play pick up ball with my buddies
because I no longer have  500 hours of study.

I think I may quit eating peanut butter and jelly
and…I’m erasing emails from Professor Katherine Kelly

I’m going to go watch the Reds or the Tribe,
and I will sit at the park and plan to imbibe.

I may even help my Dad mow the lawn,
but I still have a month until summer is gone.

I may go out and get a tight fitting suit
because soon I’ll be making substantial loot.

I’m taking a cruise, or going to sin city
I’m going to have fun and it won‘t be pretty.

what happens in Vegas stays there I’m told
I’m going out there to look for the gold.

I may do A WEEKEND OF GOLF ON THE BEACH
NOW THAT I DON’T HAVE TO LISTEN TO TAPES THAT TEACH.

I’m befriending Polo, Sperry and Hugo Boss
updating my wardrobe whatever the cost.

I have a few weeks to forget the mbe and mpt
and focus instead on well, simply me.

I’m done with what is my bar exam strife
and if I am married, I can see my wife.

If I am single, my life needs to start rolling
It is for the ladies, that I will be trolling.

I’m going to think of my law pals every day
but not in a competitive stressed out way~

and when I get my bar results online
I will realize there was a time
when old farts looked at the Supreme Court list
tacked on the court door in the morning mist.

I plan to check my name when,
the results come down
and then find out where 800 am bars are in town.
I promised the parentals I won’t drink and drive
so I have to find a pal who won’t imbibe!

(REP)

Bar Exam Bard: Why’d You Pick That Date?

What the hell made you decide
that you wanted to be a July wedding bride?
What were you thinking when you picked the date…Boom
so you could be a June wedding groom?

I’m your friend who is taking the bar
I can’t be an usher or a bridesmaid star!
I cant do a poker game or bachelorette fest
Because I need to study and do my best.

I’m taking the blasted bar examination
I need a lot of time, and loads of determination.
I need to listen to tape after tape
so my brain can be in amazing shape.

I wish I could go out on the town with you
and have a flight of beer!
but I’m in my apartment answering mbes
I’d like to get out of here.

I really was a social lite,
a party animal of sorts.
but now I’m dating my Themis Books, the ones-
with property, civ pro and torts.

Sorry your wedding is on
the weekend of July twenty five.
I’d like to be a part of it.
But I have to “book it” to stay alive!

You ‘ll need me to do your will – my friend,
or take care of your DUI!
You’ll eventually be my client
so I really have to try!

I’ve got to do well and kick proverbial a_ _
You gotta understand, I have to pass
on the first try not the third
so be understanding and don’t get weird

You may need me to split up your marriage,
or explain bailments when you rent a carriage
You may need me to form an LLC
so you want me to pass the MBE

It’s only a few more weeks of pain
(REP)

Bar Exam Bard: Bar Exam From the Woman Lawyer’s Perspective

When I’m done with the bar exam
I guess I will be free.
Then I’ll spend significant time
getting back to being me.

I’m going to the Clinique counter
to buy a Chubby stick.
no more thoughts about the MBE
200 questions made me sick!

I’m going to sip a latte
and hang out at the mall.
no more practice MPTs
No more studying at all.

I’m going to head to Nordstrom’s
and buy incredible shoes!
Because I’m done singing
the sorrowful Bar Exam Blues!

I’m gonna talk all day to pals
on my I-6 cellular phone,
and then rest up and sleep in
before I pay my student loans.

I’m going to a zumba class
and then maybe out to dine.
I may even meet Mr. Right, and
have a glass of wine.

The bar exam is over
I tried to do my best
Maybe I will get the Gov’s political nod,
to write essays for this test!

No matter what the outcome
I’m going forward with big time pride.
It was a long journey
but still an amazing ride.

I know more law than I’ll probably ever know
so to quote Dr. Seuss
Oh the places I’ll go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(REP)